Hemorrhoid jokes can be very funny but the pain, discomfort and humiliation that comes with it is not. This condition is often not much of a problem but it does affect one’s everyday routine. Oftentimes, the cure to this condition requires a change in your lifestyle and some natural or prescribed medications.
Here are some hemorrhoid jokes that can hopefully brighten up your day.
•Why are piles called Hemorrhoids instead of assteroids?
•There were two medical students standing on the corner of a street, observing passersby and discusses any abnormalities they have observed. An old man passed by, seemingly duck waddling and walking on a slow pace. The students approached the old man and introduced themselves. They told the old man that they each have a different diagnosis of his condition. One student said, “I think you have a bad case of hemorrhoids.” The other student replied, “No, I think you have hernia.” So, which among us is right? Old man replied, “Well, gentlemen, I think I just needed a huge fart, so it seems we are all wrong.”
•Why do more women suffer from hemorrhoids than men? Because when God created man, he created a perfect ASSHOLE.
Research shows that 4 out of 5 individuals suffered from hemorrhoids. Although this condition is not life threatening, it still affects one’s daily activities and routine. If you already have hemorrhoids, you must keep the affected area clean and dry at all times. You may take warm sitz bath several times a day to relieve the pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids. You may air dry the hemorrhoid area or use a hair dryer in a low setting. Keeping the affected area clean and dry will help prevent infection.
You may also apply some hemorrhoids cream on the affected area to help reduce the swelling and put a protective barrier on the affected area to promote healing. Most people find witch hazel soaked pads helpful in reducing the inflammation and discomfort caused by the ailment. You may use wet baby wipes or witch hazel soaked pads to clean your hemorrhoids after every bowel movement.
If you have bleeding hemorrhoids, suppositories are available to help ease the bleeding due to the internal crisis. A warm Sitz bath for 20 to 30 minutes can also provide great relief from hemorrhoidal symptoms. You can perform a warm Sitz bath several times a day to help ease the discomfort and itching due to the condition. The warmth from the sitz bath also relaxes the affected veins which promote better blood circulation and helps reduce the swelling.
Eating a fiber-rich diet will also help treat hemorrhoids. Fiber helps soften the stool so that it passes without much straining. If diarrhea aggravates your hemorrhoids, fiber can also help. It adds more bulk to excrete so it is not watery and fluid-like. A normal stool makes pooping easier and less straining is needed.
Hemorrhoids are really a pain in the butt and even the funniest hemorrhoid jokes is not enough the ease the irritation and pain that goes with it.
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